A Mother’s Disbelief - how are you nearly 1 ?

November 16, 2017

 

How? How has this year gone so quickly?

I still remember the day I gave birth and how I planned to have a vaginal birth but ended with an emergency C-Section.

 

I remember thinking how am I going to accept my body after seeing the scar and how bad it was. The wire in my tummy. The pain and uncertainty of not knowing if I’d be able to have another.

I also remember the feelings of Joy and Pride when I held my Daughter. 

My little bit of me and a little bit of my best friend. How perfect!

 

Cailyn is now 11 Months old and to be honest I’m all emotional at the moment, seeing her stand, take steps, dance and copy things we are going. Her laugh is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Her smile melts my heart and on a bad day she just needs to look at me with them big blue eyes and all the stress goes away!

 

Having a C-Section doesn’t make you any less of a Mother. I really hate when I see people write things like it’s the easy way out. You put your own life on the line for your child. I’d say that’s far from easy, for you or your family. I struggle so much accepting the appearance of my scar, having no feeling other than the stabbing nerve damage that comes out of know where.  

The most BEAUTIFUL girl came out of that scar but yet, I hate it. Funny that.

 

I watch her every day, doing the yoga poses, the funny laughable things she copy’s off the TV, the dancing and squeals. 

The sense of PRIDE , LOVE and HAPPINESS comes over us both. How can she possibly be one month away from being one year old? All I ask is that she stays young and has the best childhood - let them be little!

I want her to grow into the strong women I know she will be with adventure and passion in her heart. Like me, a typical Sagittarius, fire in her belly and determination to explore but with the brains of her father and attention to detail - ok not as much as her father he drives us all crazy with his OCD perfection. 

 

So let’s see what 2018 will bring.

From learning to roll over, sit up, crawl, balance and stand to walking. Seeing her taste her first foods and develop favourites.

Start to have her own personality..... so much love and amazing memories!

 

I hope she will love the fun things we have planned for her next year as I can’t wait to enjoy these family moments - All together! 

 

Family Matters !! 

 

Cailyn’s Mummy x

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