Many people have given me their advice and tips on how to settle Cailyn when she won’t go to her own bed or is ‘to clingy’
Some have been quite blunt and well let’s just say..... I couldn’t do that to my baby.
We as a society try and push children to be more independent and tough but why?
Does that actually work or even make them be a loving, kind and caring person who UNDERSTANDS love and KNOWS how to be compassionate when they are older?
Cailyn can be the most independent child I know but at the same time be a grade A mummy’s girl, to the point I can’t even go to the toilet alone, have a bath without her banging on the door or even stay with daddy while I try and have some alone time.
As much as I love my baby girl, It’s very difficult when you have this mini human clinging on to your legs all day or climbing on you like some sort of soft play apparatus, covering you in snot, tears, drool, slapping you, pulling your hair and then.... giving you big cuddles and of course the slobbery kisses make it all better.
She can make you want to pull your own hair out in one breath and then cry with pride in another.
Them eyes when she looks up at me wanting to be loved, held and kept close is the best feeling in the world.
However, when you have a million and one things to do and she is just struggling to understand Mummy also needs to run a house and make plans for things to workout properly, she can make you want to hide in the toilet and cry, scream and think, that’s it no more kids. (Even though that would never happen as we would love another)
I have tried different sleep techniques with Cailyn and at the moment the radio in her room works to help sooth her.
There is times she screams with utter heartache that I’m not with her then there is the sleepy cry that is more like a winge, which she settles moments later.
As a parent you begin to know your child and know when they are actually NEEDING you and just upset they have been moved but will be ok.
All I can say is when your struggling with your baby, do what you feel is right as a parent. The guilt is real and each day is a whole new set of worries, don’t be so hard on yourself. If your child needs in with you (co-sleeping) do it! I do and sometimes it’s what’s needed to help all of us but there are definitely times when you sneek them back into their bed like a ninja, making sure you dodge all possible obstacles on the way, prepping the bedding with one hand while you cradle that sleeping baby with the other, using the rest of your body to assist in the smoothest transition possible with maximum efficiency!
No one wants a failed attempt at putting your baby back in their bed at 2am when your really needing some cuddles with your partner, who at times doesn’t even know what is going on.... how many times you’ve been up or lay there wide awake waiting for the opportune moment to whip the bed invader out.
*of course not everyone agrees with co-sleeping and that’s ok to*
I love Cailyn and all of her ‘clingy’ moments. As a new mum I’m learning to understand when she NEEDS me and when she’s just wanting to be a Madame...
I now look at why? And go from there.
There’s not one person who could tell me she’s too needy or clingy as quite frankly she’s learning to.
Science has proven that you CANNOT spoil a child with love. Tending to their emotional needs will help their emotional and psychological development throughout their life, so if anyone accuses you of ‘making a rod for your own back’ tell them to do one and cuddle your dam child!
With age will come independence. Don’t miss out on magical moments. Society is too fixated on forcing independence on small babies instead of encouraging the natural development of self confidence and ability to self soothe. It takes time, so enjoy the closeness as it won’t be like that forever!